LaughingLaughing, laughing.Over and over and over.Stop! Shut up!Get out of my head!Are you laughing at me?Are you even laughing,Or are you just a voice,Just a soundtrack?Over and over.Driving me crazy.Already crazy.What am I now?Will this ever end?
Crazy Just Isn't MeWhen I hear voices am I insane?My sanity I just feign?I have plenty of friends.I follow some of the trends.I make a nice amount of pay.I try to do as you say.I do everything just right,But still I have this fight.Psychotic's what I am.My mind just seems damned.You don't know what it means.Crazy is all you have seen.This is what I must share:Remember that we're there.Going through normal life.You'll never know our strife.We act just like the rest.Showing only our best.If you could see what I see.Crazy just isn't me.
Showing YourselfShowing yourself doesn't make you weak.I'll give you exactly what you seek.This vulnerability is a part of you.There isn't anything you can do.I'm only here to give you help.Don't have to do it by yourself.It doesn't matter what you say.I promise that I'm here to stay.When you find it's hard to breathe,Let me be there to relieve.Want you to know I don't think less.Only you think that you're a mess.Please, I just want to be here.I really do love you, dear.
Protect MeProtect me from strangers,Those that want to harm.Protect me from liars,Using me for their good.Protect me from my heart,It's so easy to break.Protect me from the voice,She has such anger.Protect me from depression,It can overwhelm.Protect me from myself,I'm the biggest threat.
Only MeWhat would it feel like,To just disappear.You wouldn't know,If you just weren't here.There is no feeling,Because you can't feel.You can't interpret.You just aren't real.It's so lonely here,Where you used to be.I look around,But it's only me.
CrushYou're so cute and so sweet.Waiting patiently until we meet.Some avoid meeting online,But I think it will be fine.You make me laugh and make me smile.That hasn't happened in a while.So casually with me you flirt.I'm starting to forget I'm hurt.It seems that you like me.In person, we'll have to see.In a few weeks you'll be here.No connection I do fear.Until then I continue to wait,And hope that you are my fate.I pray that you're one I can trust,Because you are now my crush.
TiredTrying to get myself up.Surrounded by dirty cups.Really need some motivation.Tired of this bored sensation.Want to get up and clean.Or go out and be seen.Want to go out for a walk.Or call a friend and talk.Turn up the music and sing.Just want to do something.Hope that I don't get fired.So tired of just being tired.
Now You'll SeeNo words come out;Trapped in my head.Just emotion.What am I feeling?Spinning, spinning;It doesn't stop.I'll make it stop.Can't do this;Can't think.Only one option.No way to explain;You'll never understand.Now you'll see.
Hard to CareWhy is it so hard to care?I know that I should be there.I ignore the bell I hear chime.Instead I sit and waste time.There's nothing that I want to do.The things I enjoy are few.I know that I should be at work,But my responsibilities I shirk.The pills make me no longer sad,But apathy is just as bad.So I just let time go by.I wonder when I'll finally try.
Crowded Loved OnesCrowded loved ones all around,Only smiles can be found,But they can't feel all my pain.Keeping this up is such a drain.I laughed until my stomach hurt,But inside I just feel like dirt.Happiness is something I try,But truly I just want to die.I don't want to be here today.I wish that I could run away.No one acts like they know.I hate that I feel so low.Overwhelming sense of depression.Why can't I give my confession?I wonder if I look so fake.How much more can I take?More I smile, better they are.Only I can feel this scar.
Dig DeeperDig deeper and deeper. Don't shut me out.You have so much worry; so much doubt.I know who you are, but it seems too unclear.The details paralyze; filling you with fear.But stop and examine every last bit.Puzzle pieces; together they fit.As much as it hurts, you have to know.Leave it alone and the pain will grow.Everything here is a part of you.Yet it seems like everything's so new.Someday you'll be okay with who you are.Just keep looking. It's not far.One day everything will be so clear.You'll know the details are nothing to fear.
New ViewI've been given a new view.I've seen how others see you.Talking to your best friends.Relationships meet their ends.Selfish is what they all say.Everything has to be your way.Responsibilities you shirk.Upset when you have to work.You consider everyone less.Think that you know the best.Want whatever's new and shiny.At one time that was me.After time you start to bore.We just can't give you more.Something different happened here.My brokenness you seem to fear.I used you as my crutch,But my problems were too much.All along you had known.Your intentions weren't shown.At first you seem like fun,But you're disliked by everyone.You have some kind of spell.They come as you ring the bell.There's one thing I can say.I am finally breaking away.
I'll Be ThereI'll be there for you,No matter what.When no one cares for you,When no one loves you,When no one wants you,When no one has time,When no one will save you,When no one is left,I'll be there.You're never truly alone.Believe me,They will all leave you.He will leave you.Only I will always be there.
Meant To BeTake back some of your love.I'm not an angel for above.Of all the flaws that you see,Not a single one you find in me.You're in a circle of self hate.Can't you see that I inflate?What I'd do to make you smile;I'll try it once in a while.Kiss and hug is all you could ask.So I make up a destructive task.Cut you open, make you bleed.I'm the poison on which you feed.Somehow I'm amazing to you.Does it even matter what I do?Self esteem is way too low,But punishment is all I know.Trying to curb my sadistic waysOr you won't survive many days.Why can't love just be easy?Are we really meant to be?
More Than Anyone BeforeThere's never been a loveLike the one you have for me.I'm floating; I'm surrounded.Your love is all I feel.I just can't comprehendWhy it's bestowed upon me.I don't deserveEverything that you are.But even soI know that it's true.You'd do anything for me.You've already done so much.I wish so much I could sayMy love is the same,But my hearts been brokenBy a lover before.There's so muchThat I would do for you.But I can promise youI love youMore than I've loved anyone before.
MoodsMoods constantly changing.My mind is rearranging.Feels like I'm under a hex.Don't know who I'll be next.One minute I am on high.Next I think I may die.Then I'm filled with apathy.Next I think everyone hates me.Then my heart starts to ache.Next I have a nervous shake.Then I sexually frustrate,But I'm too upset to masturbate.My moods have become a blur.I quickly switch between me and her.I can't tell who I am.Am I me or am I Sam?I don't know who I'll next be.I'm dying for some consistency.
Come BackWill you come back?I wish you'd return.But your hatred,I always seem to spurn.That's why I did it.I made things this way.You know that I had to.What else can I say?I really do miss you.It's so lonely here,But your wrath,I really do fear.Is there a balance.Maybe I'll ask.Finding the sweet spot,Will be quite a task.If we can be happy,Just me and you.There isn't anything,I wouldn't do.
I Am So SorryI am so sorry for what I do to you.I just can't help some of what I do.I can tell in your eyes, you're in pain.In your shoes, I would be the same.I wish I could show, how much you mean to me.When you look at me, I wonder what you see.I want to say it's over; do it no more.In my head I'm fighting a terrible war.I promise I'm trying as hard as I can.Please believe me. I promise I am.You still accept me; hold me tight.It will be tough, but I will win the fight.I hope you know how much I really care.I can't believe that you're still there.
This World is a GameThis world is a game,And a crappy one at that.You can’t save,So information can be lost easily.The plot is unoriginal,And frankly, boring.You can’t chose your character,Everything was already decided for you.It’s full of enemies,So you fight each day.You can lose the game by making silly mistakes,And there is no way to replay it.It’s full of uninteresting days,And unfulfilling characters.This world is a crappy game,But even so,You have to admit,That the graphics are great.
The Boy Who Wore A MaskThere once was a boy,His parents named him Todd.In most ways he was normal,But there was something odd.Todd liked to wear a mask,The reason was unknown.He wore it day and night,His face was never shown.One day as Todd was playingOutside his favourite hole,A boy came running at him,He only had one goal.When the mask was taken,What remained was quite a shock,For instead of human features,There lived but just one rock!Now this rock was nothing special,It didn't dance or sing.Heck it wasn't even living,It just didn't do a thing!So the boy did what we all might,He reached into Todd's face,Wrapped his hands around the objectAnd removed it from its place.He skipped off down the streetTo play at the nearby lake.Skimming rocks was his favouriteAnd now he couldn't wait!"So what became of Todd?"How kind of you to ask.Poor Todd just lay there lifeless,Beside his favourite mask.
CheckmateAn entire legion of horses and knightsHooves and boots sinking away in the mudAs they stride over the fields like a floodWalking for endless days and endless nightsSpotting the black banners over the enemies’ sitesAs light reflects off their own shields’ bright white coloured studThe knights brandish their sharp steel swords eager for some bloodAnd the archers draw their bows, now strained of all the fightsThe king dressed in the night black clothesNow stares blankly at the white king, whoseArmy at last starts to draw closeThe white king puts down his pint of boozeHe smiles and says while rubbing his nose''It's checkmate old friend and you lose''
What is Right?What is Right?Please do not talk to me; I am not able to respond.And do not give me that look as if something has to be wrong.You do not need to delve into the shelves of my closed expressions.I am exempt from your attempts to unearth my preserved confessions.I am not purposely trying to evade your noble and compassionate crusade.It’s just on this occasion I do not require saving; there is no need to come to my aid.I understand that as my friend you are obliged to defend me to the very end.And this means you must venture pass the farce of barriers that I bewilderingly send.But right now my words are diverting from my mouth and into my chest.So trust me when I say that this damsel is far from in distressAnd I know that from you I should not expect any less.Just because I choose remain reserved, sit and stare.Does not mean I am slumping into a tumbling pit of despair.Nevertheless it does comfort me knowing that you are thereBut sitting in silence with me can also sho
A GREAT ACTORA GREAT ACTORSo you came to say sorry,But you do it just for gloryTo show people you are kind,You think, you are a great mindSo do it! Tell your lie!Be an actor! Show you're shy!!That's your crowd, make your try!Let them see you, when you cry!!Speak for nights, full of fear,That you felt, your death is nearWaking up by your screams,Say, you die in your dreams!Give them moments of repentance,Say you're here with no resistanceLet them see your rotting heart!Yeah! Lying it's an art!It's your show, It's your chance!And I see it, You are in trance!So do it! Tell your lie!Be an actor! Show you're shy!!That's your crowd, make your try!Let them see you, when you cry!!
Dark Crevices.Dark Crevices.Little one, monsters do not sleep under your bed.They prefer to procure the space inside your head.And all those white lies your mother told youAre from made up fairy tales she once read.When you woke up and begged for her presence.Shaking, snivelling and waiting for her to console you.You never had the need to perform any form of penance.As she would make them vanish by only uttering a sentence.All those proverbs and warm words your mother sold you,Are there to assure you when she is not able to watch over.But no amount of prayers, dream catchers and four leaf clovers.Can protect you from what prowls directly above your shoulders.And all those white lies your mother told you.Shaking, snivelling and waiting for her to console you.All those proverbs and warm words your mother sold you.Will not help when the demons decide to take a hold of you.Kela Lewis-Morin
A MEMORYThe memory of the child that I wasSitting upon that old stone wallThe softness of the wind on my faceThe majesty of the deep oceanThe infinite sky that lived aboveBut within there was a lonely thoughtA contemplation of inner sadnessThe subtle vision that mystifiedAlone I knew it to be trueSix thousand crossed my doorPassing by into the flow of dawnEach day with a different hueThe coldness of that windThe dark abyss of that oceanThe greyness of that skyA strange vision to be notedThat haunted memory of a childAlone I knew it to be trueGrand castles built of golden sandTheir majestic halls of great beautyNeat gardens of magical splendorThey crumble and fall to ruinA sorrow that has been tastedIs a hunger that forever growsTo turn the face the other wayThe hunger will not go awayAlone I know it to be true
Ode To SilenceRemember the songs of silenceThat have serenaded your lifeWith unexpected beautyThe moist crawling footsteps of fogEmbracing your whole environsCaressing each inch of your skinAnd not a creature is speakingThe soft soundless flight of the owlCommands the night with airborne stealthEach movement of his wings brings forthProfound verse not meant to be heardHow quiet is the moon tonightIts light gliding down to the earthSilently reducing the worldTo simple shades of black and whiteThe vim of the cemeteryIs felt so much more potentlyWhen voices are left without useAnd when words cannot be utteredOh, the poetry of silenceHave you let it sweeten your lifeAs an act of worship to God?
Belief.Belief.I’d rather believe in something,Rather than to believe in nothing.Because to believe in nothing implies there is no purpose.It implies that there is nothing below or above the earth’s surface.It suggests that there is no advanced assistance and that our existenceCan be revoked in an instant, despite our apparent spiritual commitments.It would mean that mankind will not be punished for all their wrong doings.And that living a good honest life will not grant you a shoe inTo something that is not indefinitely thereAnd that it was us who made this world unfair.But if you believe there is something greater in placeAnd that this something does not have a form, figure or face.From this something we gain a feeling that cannot be describedAnd although countless cynics have allied, defied and tried.They have dedicated their entire lives to proving there is no evidence.Because disproving that something is the only thing of any relevance.What if confirming its p
DripDrip, drip, drip.Rain pours on me,Over my face.Wash away my tears.Wash away my sadness.Wash away my emotions.Wash away me.I am the rain.Crack!Thunder booms.Everything's clear,In that moment.I am reborn.