literature

How Do You Do This

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TheMeTheyDontSee's avatar
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Literature Text

How do you do this?
I could not live without you.
I love you so much.
This was written for this contest: the-creative-writer.deviantart…
The words used were heartbroken and euphoric
© 2013 - 2024 TheMeTheyDontSee
Comments4
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8Volaticus8's avatar
I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is poem fell flat to me. "I could not live without you" and "I love you so much" are both big cliches. Those are lines that have been written so many times in so many poems, that the words over time have lost their impact. When writing poetry, one should always try to use fresh, original phrasing to better engage the reader in the poem. Another important thing is imagery. This poem lacks an image for the reader to see and/or feel. The first line is unclear. What exactly is 'this'? Just some thoughts on how you could strengthen the poem, that you can consider or disregard as you wish. Thanks for the read :)